The Worst Day
by Steppenwolf
Summary: Possible spoilers for ME3. Something horrible happens and Shepard and Liara try to deal with it.


Beware: Spoilers for ME3

A/N: So this is just a small one shot I HAD to write during my first play through of ME3. I had to make a terrible choice and Tali died *sobbs uncontrollably*. I loved Tali, nearly as much as Liara, and I took her with me on every mission possible in all three parts. When I wrote this I didn't even finish the game and didn't know who would be alive at the end (I know now and will of course make another play through where I will keep her alive.)

I was devastated and this is the result. It's fluffy and sappy and possibly ... cringe worthy in some places, but I needed to write it. So I figured I could post it as well. Comments are of course always welcome!

Set after the Rannoch mission in ME3. All characters belong to Bioware, EA Games.

Shepard came back from Rannoch stone-faced and silent; she hadn't said a single word during the shuttle ride back to the Normandy. It had been Liara who had given the actual order to head back, that there would be no one else coming. Seeing Shepard like this … to say she was worried would be an understatement.

Liara knew that Shepard lost a lot of soldiers and comrades during her years of fighting against the Reapers, and before that, most recently Kaidan, Mordin and Thane. Shepard always fought so hard to keep everyone alive; she had managed to save the whole crew from the Collectors' base. Not one was lost during the suicide mission. Shepard had made all the right calls and now … The Quarians were gone! Tali … was dead; dead because of a decision Shepard had to make. The Quarians had been the aggressor in this war, Shepard had given them countless opportunities to pull back, to safe the civilians, spare the fleet. But they didn't listen. The Geth were only protecting themselves.

No, Liara supported Shepard's decision wholeheartedly. She admired that about Shepard; that she was able to treat the Geth like she would any other race in the galaxy. She knew Shepard had made the right call, but Tali …

She didn't know if Shepard would come back from this one. Tali had been her friend. No! She had been their friend. Liara knew Tali since she joined the crew of the Normandy 1, after Shepard, Ashley and Tali rescued her from Therum. And they had fought side by side with Shepard, keeping each other alive countless times. They became friends fast, being the only female aliens aboard the Normandy. Tali was the only one who didn't treat her like the odd one out, besides Shepard of course.

Arriving at the Normandy Liara wanted to talk to Shepard, but she brushed her off.

"Not now Liara." Shepard's voice was emotionless. Liara would have preferred anger or even fury over this … emptiness.

She knew Shepard needed some time alone, so Liara would respect her wishes and give her that at least. She retired to her office; there was a lot to do. The extinction of the Quarians and the destroying of a Reaper were bound to cause some waves through the universe.

Meanwhile Shepard talked to Hackett, still stone-faced, her voice still bare of any emotion, her eyes empty. She didn't want this damn job. Who had thought it was good idea to give her this much responsibility? Who had thought it was good idea to give her the power to destroy a whole race?

She just had witnessed one of her closest friends commit suicide; she could have pulled the trigger herself as well. She killed Tali.

But Hackett reminded her what she was fighting for and why it had to be her. He didn't try to take the pain away with fancy words they both knew would mean nothing, but he restored her will to keep going. If she gave up now everything would have been for nothing. Tali's death would be meaningless. No, they would fight and they would win and Tali'Zohra vas Normandy would never be forgotten.

Back on the bridge she ordered Joker to set a course for the Citadel, the Asari wanted to talk. She had a few hours to herself before they got there and she wanted to spend this time alone.

"Traynor!"

"Yes Commander?" Specialist Traynor answered without missing a beat. She wished she could do something to help their commander, but without any ideas how, she opted on being at her best behavior for now.

"I'll be in my quarters until we reach the Citadel. No calls, no messages."

"Aye, Commander."

Liara had decided to give Shepard some time to think before going to her cabin; and she wasn't sure Shepard would even want to see her. So when Traynor called she was in the middle of analyzing some data.

"Dr. T'Soni?"

"Can this wait Traynor? I'm busy." Liara answered shortly. She respected the woman's professional capabilities but didn't like her very much personally. She was a little too friendly with Shepard for her taste.

"I'm sorry Doctor, but I think it can't." Traynor's voice was full of resolve and Liara knew she wouldn't give in easily so she deemed it best to simply get it over with.

"What is it, Specialist?"

"I know this probably isn't my place, but I'm really sorry for what happened to Tali'Zohra. I know you two were close friends ever since the first Normandy and I wanted to … I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Traynor. But it wasn't my loss. The whole Universe lost a whole race today and an amazing woman who was a hero and a true friend to a lot of people. But I know that's not why you called."

"No, Dr. T'Soni. I'm really worried about the Commander. She seems to be taking Tali'Zohra's death … it … I never saw her like this. And … and I know you two are … close friends. Please, Dr. T'Soni, you have to help her."

"She will be okay Traynor. And you are right. This isn't your place. I will let it go this time, because I know you're worried and only wanted to help. But don't ever tell me again, what I have to do. Are we clear?"

"Crystal Ma'am."

Liara stopped the process she was working on; she wouldn't be able to concentrate on that boring stuff again anyway. As much as she hated to admit it, Traynor was right. She needed to talk to Shepard.

She entered Shepard's cabin without hailing. Shepard had given her access to her quarters right after Mars, even if she didn't make use of this privilege until now; they had both been so busy with everything going on.

What she saw when she entered broke her heart.

Shepard was kneeling beside her bed beating the crap out of it, tears streaming down her face freely.

"Oh Shepard." Liara whispered, her feet propelling her forward. She sunk down beside Shepard, grabbed her hands and pulled her into her, hugging her tightly.

Shepard struggled against her at first. She didn't want to be comforted, she didn't deserve it. But Liara didn't let go.

"Shepard, stop it. You made the right call. I know you can't see it now, but it was the right decision. We have to keep going. We can mourn Tali later. We will mourn Tali later."

And finally Shepard stopped struggling against Liara, throwing herself into the embrace.

"She was my friend." Shepard sobbed.

"I know. She was my friend, too." Liara answered calmly. It wouldn't do them any good if she broke down too. It was her turn to be the strong one, to be the one Shepard could ground herself on.

"But you didn't have to make that call. How can you not hate me? How can you trust me that I wouldn't sacrifice you without second though?"

"I trust you to do the right thing. If my death was the only thing ensuring our victory I would want you to make that decision. This is bigger than all of us."

"I couldn't lose you!"

"Shep, our chances are slim. Like always."

"We beat the odds time and time again, Liara. We will kick some Reaper butt and then we'll settle down somewhere. Together. I don't care where. But I want the rest of my life with you. That's what I'm fighting for."

"Okay."

"And our … your first daughter?"

"Yes?"

"Name her Tali."

"It will be our daughter Shepard." Liara said resolutely.

"But … it will be what, 200 years before you reach your maternal phase."

"Shepard, Asari can have children before that. Most just don't want to settle that early in their life. But I want your kids Shepard. I will have hundreds of years later, when … They will be a part of you. They will be wonderful. Our first will be Tali and we will teach her what a brave person Tali was and she will be proud of her name."

"And our second will be Benezia."

"Any more names you want to use?" Liara smirked.

"A lot." Shepard answered, feeling her mood lift with every minute she spent with Liara. Talking about their future, about their kids … it didn't make the loss of Tali any easier, but it gave her something to look forward too.

"You will never be alone." Shepard whispered. She knew she would probably not even see her kids mature.

"You will always be in my heart Shepard."

"You will probably be barely 200 years old when I die Liara. If I even live that long."

"You can't think like that. We have to cherish the time we have together. And I will have our kids to keep me company. I just hope one of them will share my passion for history."

"You'll probably end up the youngest Asari council member ever."

"I don't know about that. I'm not a leader."

"If some leaders were more like you we might not be in this mess."

"We can't ponder about what ifs, Shepard. We must play the hand we're dealt."

Shepard finally turned full to Liara to look into her eyes.

"Beautiful and smart. How do I even deserve you?"

"Well you did save my life. A few times actually." Liara then closed the last distance between them and kissed Shepard deeply, trying to show just how much she loved her.

Sex with an Asari, sex with Liara, was unlike everything Shepard had experienced. And it had been years since they had been together the last, and first, time. But as soon as their minds connected it didn't matter. It was the closest any person could ever be with another. Physically and emotionally.

Through their connection they shared their pain and created pleasure. It caused hope to grow in dark times. And when they tumbled over the edge together Shepard knew there was nobody else she would rather spend her last days, or if they were lucky last years, with.

When the connection broke they cuddled together to make up for the loss of closeness. They basked in the afterglow of their love making, prolonging the moment. Joker would call soon, informing them about their arrival at the Citadel. But not yet.

"Tali will be wonderful Shepard. She will be strong, smart and beautiful." Liara said silently.

"Just like her wonderful mother." Shepard answered.

Liara smiled wistfully. Shepard didn't know it yet, but Tali wasn't a theory anymore. She wouldn't tell her just yet. There was enough pressure on her mate already. She shouldn't have to worry about her too. That could come later.


End file.
